Song: Stepping Into The Light
Welcome to Bonnie’s Blog of Songs! I hope you enjoyed listening to my audio clip “Stepping into the Light” which is a first take recording sung by me and accompanied by my husband Daryl on his piano. This expression in its raw form, captures a vulnerability and innocence in my voice that also reflected a time, many years ago in my early days of awakening. My ability to channel hook line melodies and lyrics was emerging as a medium and musician. At this time I was also fully engaged in my “calling” as a Psychic Medium after resigning twice from the school board from my 20 year role as a Child and Youth Counselor. I was evolving and shifting…done with trying to save the world of lost kids…done dodging chairs and running fast. Don’t get me wrong, this life changing chapter of service in my life held gifts too many to list, and most importantly contributed to my strength of character as the eternal counselor and humanitarian that I am.
We are all evolving and shifting with the concept that change is the only constant in our lives. The key is to be awake and aiming consciously in the direction of the Light and not headed down the rabbit hole of detours. These diversions can lead you to mucky stuck-ness, untruths, dis-ease and “shit sandwiches”. Of course we have all taken these dark secondary highways that hold deep lessons in their hardships when we dig in to our emotional healing work. It is to be awake enough to really listen to your heart…to the voice of your higher self that moves you to step into your Light of consciousness. It is when you step out of the confines of ego and into the limitless expression of the higher self that you can choose to take the bi-pass away from the lost sleepers to find your truth. It is to know the difference between the ham and cheese sandwich with extra pickles that is within your grasp and the “shit sandwich”.
And oh the detours I took! In hindsight I ignored the voice of my higher self many times. I ignored that little voice that told me to run like hell and not walk down that aisle at 19 years old. This life changing dysfunctional marriage took me on a 15 year detour that opened my eyes to my fading Light that I eventually rekindled. In this experience, the gift of becoming seriously ill with fibromyalgia led me down a well-lit path of miraculous healing. My higher self and Divine support system showed me this road of physical, emotional and spiritual recovery… for which I am truly grateful. I could argue that I needed these detours to become the strong, healthy and balanced person that I am today. I could say that I wouldn’t have befriended this Light if I hadn’t dwelled in the mucky darkness. I could also wonder where my life path would have led me if I honoured the voice of my higher self before I took those dreaded side-tracks.
The brave and awake take the road less travelled…where we embrace our human and spiritual selves and have the courage to dig in to the muck of our lessons and eat the occasional “shit sandwich”. We accept that as author Robert Peck quotes “life is difficult and that the journey to spiritual growth is a long one”. This quote doesn’t have to be discouraging. As a realist, I try to live with an intention of acceptance versus resistance when challenges cross my path. I love mythologist, author and lecturer Joseph Campbell’s classic Hero’s Journey which describes an individual’s quest to awaken inner knowing or spiritual power. The Hero must face fears, obstacles and challenges, shift to higher levels of consciousness, and emerge to claim our gifts that we are to share with the world. This journey is a never ending one for all of us as we will always face challenges and fears. The key is to hold a strong alliance to your inner knowing and spiritual power in this crazy world. The quest is to be all you can be as conscious empowered being. The awakened, me chose to claim my gifts and to live a rich and fulfilling life, despite the chaos and diversions that this world can bring.
My 25 year experience as a professional musician holds valuable lessons that have brought me to this place of accomplishment and balance as a composer, drummer and vocalist in our studio. This present chapter has brought Daryl and I to link even more intensely as co-creators on a mission to write our songs that feel like entities tugging on our souls. However, in my early awakened days, I’d be straddling my busy practice “Divine Light Within” along with my late nights playing in the club scene as a kit drummer and vocalist in a classic rock band. I’m packing up, heading to gigs, loading in, setting up, performing long sets, tearing down… not to mention the dreaded load out at 2 am. I’d drag my sorry butt to bed by 4 am, all to get up and facilitate a community drum circle the next day. Cramming 25 African Dejembes into my Honda on a regular basis and slapping my boney hands on the head of my hand drum was killing me. My overworked hands were beginning to cripple up, purely by this abusive routine and I knew something would have to give. I did choose to put away my drum sticks to focus on my drum circle facilitation which is a whole other amazing high…but all for the sake of balance. Plus the disheartening declining pay rate for an A circuit band was insulting to our musician egos! We mourned the loss of the decent pay and successful 15 year run with this particular band that my husband Daryl and I performed in… back in the “hay days” when live music felt more respected.
Don’t get me wrong, the powerful buzz of entraining with like-minded musicians which conjured up a groove that filled the floor with dancing fools was priceless. It’s like the air became infused with a sweet electrical charge that boosted your heart with a magical adrenaline that only music can bring. Both audience and band would be transformed…beamed up in a collective frenzy of soul connection. To get the standing O and the encore in packed venues was the icing on the cake…or better yet, the ham and cheese sandwich with extra pickles. When it was good, it was really good!
Of course sometimes we got handed the “shit sandwich”. Yep, sometimes patrons would fight and crash into our equipment. Sometimes we got double booked. Sometimes the P.A. went funky or the soundman was asleep at the helm. Once the bartender tried to unplug us because the guitar player was too loud. Sometimes I had to go back stage between sets to dry heave in a paper bag and hold a bag of ice from the bar on my head. All this to ward off a migraine so I could get back up there and lay it down like the pocket drummer I am. And then there was the dreaded wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a 20 minute dance medley that has stayed in my memory to this day. The buttons on my all too snug blouse popped off. At first I was unaware of this as I was fiercely dedicated to the complex drumming at hand. I didn’t miss a fill but wondered why the audience was especially engaged and impressed. At one point a guy yelled out “nice rack” which I later realized was not a compliment to my rack of shiny toms in my five-piece custom maple Yamaha kit. As the true professional that I am, I finished the medley and then embarrassingly covered up with my towel. Then there was the time that I flipped off my favourite lucky gig jacket behind the kit and accidentally onto a hot spot light that proceeded to burn a big hole in the back and produce a smouldering smoke that a patron whooshed out with his beer. The bar owner thought we brought our own fog machine!
I can laugh at and appreciate all of these memories now, knowing that the Light, dark and ridiculously humorous experiences have shaped me in ways I can’t regret. I am proud to have honored the voice of my higher self to go against the odds to succeed as a “female” Drummer/Psychic Medium versus the perhaps more reputable and safe school counselor. Some of us will go for life times ignoring our soul’s true gifts… kind of like sleeping walking through life, playing it safe and keeping our personal soul Light dim. Of course we must be responsible for paying our way in this world! And… we must somehow find time, space and courage to dip our toes in this field of Light that is calling us out…no matter what life is throwing at us. Imagine that the Light is a stream of pure divine consciousness that emanates from your soul which sends a search beam up to link with a universal field of potentiality. Some call this field the Universe… some call it God. When your light is strong with heart felt love and intention you align with high vibrational divine experiences. We all sit somewhere on this Light Consciousness Spectrum. Some are living in the mucky darkness of resistance and fear while some of us are just stepping in to play in the Light of creativity, intuitive living, acceptance and love. Others are fully bathing in the magnificent Light of consciousness and dancing in their greatness like no one is watching.
Where are you on this Light Consciousness Spectrum? Are you stuck in the muck? Do you want to align with your higher self, special calling and gifts? If you answered yes to this question contact Bonnie and ask about her Spiritual Mentorship Support or request a reading at info@bonnieross.com
Blog by Psychic Medium Bonnie Ross